Thankful Thursday

I had an especially rough day with the kids yesterday. And really it was more my problem than theirs. I set my alarm for 6:00am, hoping to spend some time in worship and prayer to start my day off right. I normally set it for 6:30, but Naomi has been waking up right about that time as well. So I tried to outsmart her. But alas...she was up at 6:01am. UGH.

So I began my day in frustration. And tired. And it just went from bad to worse. It was one of those days in which I wish that I could take back half of what I said and did to my children. I lost my patience more times than I care to admit and stooped to the level of yelling at them throughout the day. I was n-a-s-t-y. And they were dishing it out just the same. We were all grumpy and taking it out on each other.

Today, I am thankful for a NEW day. For a fresh start. And I am thankful for a truly tender-hearted son who extended his forgiveness to me last night. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Isaac, mommy needs to apologize to you for something I did."
Isaac: (interrupting me) "What did you do, Mommy?"
Me: "Well I was SO mean to you today. I got angry and yelled at you and I should not have done that. Mommies are not supposed to speak to their children that way. I'm really sorry that I spoke to you so rudely today."
Isaac: "How were you rude to me?"
Me: I rehashed and confessed every way that I could think of...
Isaac: "Oh yeah...that wasn't good. That didn't honor God."
Me: (smiling) "You're right...that did not honor God at all. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"
Isaac: "Yes...I forgive you, Mommy."
Me: "Thank you, sweetie. And I will do better tomorrow. I am going to work on being more kind to you and Naomi and not let things get me so frustrated."
Isaac: "We'll all be kind to each other!"
Me: I then proceeded to give him permission to hold me accountable by calling me out when I am speaking rudely to him.
Isaac: "What does ack-an-ti-ta-ble mean?"
Me: (smiling again) "Accountable. It means that we help each other to do the right thing. You can tell mommy if you think that my voice is too harsh or sounds rude. And I will tell you the same."
Isaac: (with a BIG smile and a little giggle, gives me a HUGE hug)

Our conversation went on quite awhile longer and ended after I told him that I was going to go spend some time with God...
Isaac: "Oh...you're going to go read a book about God?"
Me: "No...I'm going to go spend time with God."
Isaac: "How?"
Me: "I'm going to worship and pray."
Isaac: "Where? In the place with that big room with the drummer and the singer...and that other girl who sings?"
Me: (laughing inside) "No...I'm going to spend time with God downstairs in our living room."
Isaac: "Well how will you worship?"
Me: "With music."
Isaac: "How? From that radio thingy?"
Me: "Yes."
Isaac: "Okay."

And then we said our good night's and I love you's and he went to sleep. I am SO thankful for this precious gift that is my son. I am thankful that even after a day filled with me acting so terribly toward him, he responds with such love and grace...and forgiveness. He may not forget how I treated him, but he has forgiven me and loves me just the same. I praise You, Lord, for blessing me with two of the most amazing kiddos I could have asked for. They test me constantly and there are days in which they nearly drive me crazy. But Lord, they ARE gifts from You. And I thank You for them and even more...I thank You for Your love and forgiveness. Unconditional. Undeserved. Unending. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. Thank you!