New Moms...

As I am anticipating the arrival of baby number three in about eight weeks, I have been preparing my heart and mind for the changes that are soon to come. I am reminded of all of the things that no one ever told me before having my first...and perhaps it was because I never asked or I didn't know what to ask. :) So now I am going to share some things that most people won't say or talk about when it comes to right after that precious baby is born. These things are reminders also to myself as I enter into this new phase of life again. :)

1. Be prepared to PRAY...a lot. I have never been so needy and closer to God than those weeks immediately following the births of my children. You will need all the strength you can get! :)

2. Put down all of those "how-to" parenting books and go with your gut instinct! You can read a dozen different books on the same topic and have professionals from every different field telling you the "right" way to do certain things. But what I find interesting is how many different opinions there are between each of the books. At one point after my first was born, I was so stressed out following a certain method when my own mother (who has raised four children) looked at me and said, "Why are you doing this?" I sheepishly said, "Because I thought that's how I was supposed to do it." And why did I think that? Because some well-known author of a best-selling book told me that that was what my baby needed! HA! My mom's advice to me: Do what YOU feel is best for your baby. No one on this planet knows that baby better than their mommy. God gave you instincts...follow them. :)

3. Breast feeding may single-handedly be the MOST challenging part of having a newborn. But it can also be hands-down the MOST rewarding!! If you think you'll just "give it a try," then you'll likely fail. It's that hard. You have to be 100% committed to stick it out...and you will be SO glad that you did!

4. If you think your hormones are going crazy now, just wait until AFTER the baby is born! Be ready to weep uncontrollably over absolutely NOTHING! This even surprised me the second time around...hopefully I'll be ready for it this time! :)

5. Be flexible. We go into motherhood filled with wonderful expectations. We've read books, talked to friends, had our baby showers, etc. We have all sorts of ideas of how we're going to do things...and then they all fall apart. Babies are really good about screwing up our plans like that. So I'd suggest waiting to meet that sweet little thing and find out what their temperament is before you start planning out how he/she will sleep, eat, etc.

6. Don't stress over scheduling. Some mommies and babies are super relaxed and flexible, while others are more at peace with clearly defined schedules in place. Do what is best for YOU and your baby! And don't stress about it. :)

7. You are a new mother...not a MARTYR. Ask for help! And if you have a husband living with you, then he can help out when he's home! I've had SO many mommy friends who are on the brink of emotional break-downs, as they are sleep-deprived, exhausted, and not getting any help at home. When I ask why their husbands are not helping out when the baby is up throughout the middle of the night, they always say that they have to work in the morning. My response: "WELL SO DO YOU!!" And guess what...your "job" is a heck of a lot more important. Because if you don't show up, or are too tired to think straight, or so depressed that you feel like giving up...then who else is going to take care of that sweet baby of yours? We weren't designed to do all of this on our own. After our second was born, my husband and I worked out a plan. We were "on" every-other night for those middle of the night feedings. This is a little bit more challenging for breast feeding moms, but we made it work. On his nights, I would nudge him when she was ready to nurse, so he'd bring her to me while I was still laying down. I'd nurse her, then nudge him when she finished so he could burp her, change her diaper, and get her back to sleep for me. Those nights were SO lovely...and MUCH needed. It took both of you to MAKE that baby...now it can take both of you to help care for it!! :) Yay for teamwork!! :)

8. It's okay to wear maternity clothes for awhile after having the baby. Sure, you hear of those crazy women who wear their skinny jeans home from the hospital...but let me tell you...it usually doesn't work that way! :) Don't be surprised if you still look 4-6 months pregnant for a week or two (or many more) after delivery. You WILL eventually get your body back...it'll just take some time...and it'll be even faster if you breastfeed. :)

9. Keep up with date nights with the hubby and never forget that your relationship with him is more important than that with the baby. You'll soon discover that loving your sweet new baby is effortless...and well...we all know that marriage is work! :)

10. It's okay if you don't think your baby is cute when he/she first comes out. They honestly look quite alien-like and it's okay to admit it! :)

11. SLEEP whenever you can! And don't forget to take care of you!

12. If, at any point, you sense that something may be seriously wrong with your baby, listen to your gut! Mommies have a deep connection with their babies and just KNOW when something isn't right.

13. We all survived sleeping on our bellies. While it's good to put your baby to sleep on their back, if it's just not working, you may find that they sleep better on their belly...and they probably won't die because of it. Be smart about it, though...no blankets or other loose objects in the crib. So far, BOTH of my babies have preferred their bellies to sleep on, and have been GREAT sleepers because of it.

14. If you deliver vaginally, it'll likely take quite a bit of time for stuff "down there" to feel well enough to engage in some action with your spouse again. That's okay. Don't rush it. There are plenty of other ways to remain physically intimate without disturbing the healing process. But with all of the crazy hormonal changes, you may not be interested in ANY kind of physical intimacy at all. Give yourself some grace...and remind yourself (and your precious husband) that this too shall pass. :)

15. Just remember that you WILL get through this. You are NOT alone. And don't be afraid to talk to someone about how you're feeling.

16. Stay flexible. It always seems that once you get something down, the baby will change...throwing you for a loop. Embrace this time in your life as a season of continual change. And just go with it.

17. Motherhood can be awfully isolating. Try to find other new mommies (or seasoned ones) to get together with for playdates...even with a young baby. It's a great opportunity for the new baby to be socialized and entertained, but it's equally important for you to connect and bond with other new moms who are going through very similar life experiences!! :)

18. If you find yourself wishing for certain phases to pass, just remind yourself how short this season really is. They won't be this needy forever. When you grow weary and discontent, remind yourself of all the wonderful things that you DO love about your baby...and be thankful.


Okay. So there you have it. And I'm sure I'm missing LOTS of little nuggets, so if you've experienced having a newborn baby, and you have something else that's not on this list, PLEASE leave a comment and share your advice to new moms!! :) Thanks!