A New Struggle - Lying

We have entered into a new phase with Isaac, bringing new issues that have our heads spinning. He has discovered a delight in joking, kidding, and flat-out lying. And it's quite scary how good he is at it! He'll tell small lies such as telling me that daddy told him that he could do something when he in fact did not or denying responsibility for something that he did. And he will insist and persist in the lies saying things like, "I promise that I didn't do that" or "I'm telling the truth, mommy!" He has also started lying about doing something wrong like, "Mommy, I hit Naomi." Then a few minutes later, as I continue to talk to him about his choice, he'll say, "I didn't really...I was just kidding."

He's also become quite the story teller. This past week, we told his teachers at preschool that I had the baby and was at the hospital. He told them so matter-of-factly that they were almost believing him. They even hopped onto facebook to check and see if I had posted anything about the new baby. After holding to his story for 45 minutes, he finally told them the truth. They were laughing about it all as I picked him up, and while I was smiling on the outside, I was fuming internally. Why is he doing this?!? This has GOT to stop.

We have had conversations about how Satan is the father of lies...and that by lying, Isaac is doing what Satan wants him to do, not what God wants him to do. We talk about being friends with God...not the enemy. We've talked to him about trust and how if he continues lying that we may not be able to trust anything he tells us. We've also been very consistent in giving stiffer consequences when he lies, and encourage him to confess and apologize when he does. I've gone to the library and picked up "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," as well as "Pinocchio." My plan of attack right now is to inundate him with messages about honesty and the danger of being a liar. Because lest we forget...that boy who cried wolf got eaten by the wolves because no one believed what he said!! :) We're planning to get more books on the topic, as well as other videos like "VeggieTales Classics - Larry-Boy and the Fib from Outer Space." I hope that he'll get the point very soon.

I can understand his confusion about some things, though. Because as adults, we joke and kid around without thought. We are capable of understanding the difference between a lie and a playful kidding. But to a child like Isaac, he doesn't get it. To him, it's all the same. Here's a perfect example. This morning, we had a guest visiting for a short time. Isaac told our friend that he had looked into his lunch bag, to which our friend asked, "You did? And what did you find?" Isaac just smiled and said, "I don't know." Our friend playfully said, "Did you see the dragon in there?" Isaac answered, "No...there's not a dragon in there!" Our friend responded with, "Sure there is...you didn't see it?" But then he realized that it's little stories like these that are giving Isaac a hard time with this whole lying thing. He was getting ready to say, "Oh, I'm just kidding," but stopped himself as he remembered our conversation the night before about Isaac's struggles.

We all had a good laugh about it, but it's a great example of how we tell stories and playfully kid around with children. Another example is when the pediatrician looks at my kiddos' ears, she'll say, "Oh...I see a kitty in there!" Playfully helping to ease the discomfort of the situation. But the bottom line with all of these things is that they are lies. Even the good ole "I've got your nose" game that has been passed down over the years is a form of lying. So how are we to teach our children to be upright, honest people if we playfully joke and kid around with them? Is kidding and joking just an acceptable form of lying?

The book of Proverbs has a little verse that speaks to joking. It says: "Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, 'I was only joking!'" Proverbs 26:18-19

Ouch. Maybe we should all be a little more careful about how we communicate. Not just with our children, but with everyone. If we are to train our children in righteousness, then we need to live it first. If we are to expect honesty and a pure heart from Isaac, then by God's grace, we need to be walking it first. Search my heart, oh God, and purify me! May we be living examples of honesty and trustworthiness to our children. And help us to raise them up to be pure, honest, children of God!! :) Amen.