Experiment - conclusion

So after spending a week with my phone turned on silent, not being on the computer, watching any television, or reading any books at all during the day, and completely fasting from Facebook...I feel like I am a much better mommy. Simplicity is beautiful. But it has been challenging. I still find myself wanting to escape from time to time...and I think from time to time, that will be okay. Just not doing it ALL of the time will be a good thing.

My hypothesis with this "experiment" was that I would see a dramatic difference in the behavior of my children if I was simply more present for them. I tested my hypothesis by cutting out all unnecessary distractions and really worked hard to remain present with them throughout our days. Some days I did better than others. I did not do it perfectly, as I cheated and held phone conversations a few times. However, my hypothesis was CORRECT! Most of the frustrating behaviors of my children had a large part to do with them simply wanting and vying for the attention of their ever-escaping mommy. So when I gave them what they were wanting and needing, they responded in amazing ways. :)

After this week, I have made some decisions about how I am going to spend my time as a stay-at-home mom. I have resolved to begin treating it as if it were my full-time job. I will continually ask myself, "Would I be doing this on the job working for someone else?" If the answer would be no...then I need to reconsider my choices. I plan to limit how often I use my phone during the day, using it only to send and receive calls, and to check email only occasionally. I will continue sticking to my no television or computer time while the kids are awake rule. It has been freeing. And I will actually begin to REALLY limit the amount of time I spend on Facebook.

I have realized how addicted I am to Facebook...all in the name of staying connected. But what has happened is that while I've been keeping up with the lives of people I hardly know, the very people closest to me have felt disconnected from me. Do you see how twisted that is? Like seriously messed up. And it's not fair to them or me.

Maybe I'm the only one in the world who spends too much time on there. But I have found that an hour can go by, and it only feels like it's been ten minutes. I enjoy seeing what's going on in other people's lives...and I enjoy helping others feel connected to me. But I have to really question things when 400 of my Facebook friends know about a personal medical emergency before my own sister, who by the way, has been deeply hurt by this reality. Something is wrong with this. And it's my own fault. So things are going to change.

My children need me. They need my attention...my UNDIVIDED attention. In this day and age, it is so hard to remain present...with our phones, iPads, etc. We are consumed by the vast number of applications, games, or social networking opportunities available to us all the time. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I just can't handle it. But maybe I wasn't designed to. Maybe none of us really were.

So there you have it. The Great Behavior Experiment is over...sort of. :) I am SO thankful that I chose to do this, and am excited to see how things begin to change in all of the relationships in my life...especially with my children. I have realized that their behavior goes much deeper than what I see on the outside. There is a war for their little hearts and souls...and I'm gonna fight for them...because that's my job.