The Great Behavior Experiment

What would happen if I actually turned off my phone...turned off the TV...and logged off the Internet? What would happen if I actually WANTED to spend time with my kids? And ENJOYED my time with them? I am a stay-at-home mom to my two kiddos - Isaac and Naomi (3 and 20 months), and I am taking a week to simplify my life and be more available to my children.

Their behavior lately has been driving me CRAZY. And after having a complete meltdown earlier this week (me, not them). I decided something needed to change. I went out and bought, "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I'm only through the second chapter, but have already come away with enough to evoke change. Though Dr. Leman did not come right out and say it, I realized as I was reading, that the problem isn't THEM...it's ME.

Whether it's spending time on Facebook, on the phone, watching TV, or reading books on how to raise better kids, if I take a real close look at my life, I have been AVOIDING the very subjects of my most important job! Sure...I am meeting their basic needs. They are well fed, clothed, bathed, have had diaper changes, and are even quite smart for their ages (doesn't every mommy think so?). And they are even well-mannered...saying "please," "thank you," "excuse me," and even "sorry," completely UNprompted!

But if I am being completely open and honest here, I have been neglecting one of their most desperate needs: ATTENTION. Sure...I may be right there in the room with them. But I'm on my phone - checking email, texting, or commenting on someone's post on Facebook. Or maybe I have the TV on, catching up on my recorded shows. Or lately, having my nose in a book...reading about how to change their behavior! What if the problem with their behavior is that they just want their mommy who has chosen to leave the outside workforce to stay at home with them...to actually BE with them?

So I am taking one week to try this out. I am silencing my phone while they are awake. Because I am embarrassed to admit that I have stopped in the middle of changing a poopy diaper to run and pick-up the phone when someone was calling...or worse - stopped RIGHT in the middle of reading them a book. It's quite ridiculous really. I can call people back when I have a free minute. I do not need to be a slave to my phone.

I am leaving my computer turned off...until naps (like now) and at night when they are in bed. No Facebook. No watching MY television shows while on the job. No reading...unless it's one of THEIR books...to them! :) I am going to take a week and actually spend TIME...quality time...with my kids. I'm going to get down on the floor and PLAY with them. Help them make up wild stories and imagine fun games to play. I am going to ENGAGE with them. And let's see what happens.

My theory is that their behavior is going to improve DRAMATICALLY. Especially given that their disobedience and fighting with one another typically happens when I'm not even present! I will be logging our daily activities and what kinds of things go on throughout the day. That will be the only thing that will take my time away from them. I will jot things down quickly in a notebook that I'll keep nearby.

I hope to grow and learn from this experience, and hope that other mommies will be encouraged to try it for themselves!! :)