Raising Boys

They are everywhere you look...little boys. And what a mystery they are to us, their mothers. They start out so sweet and cuddly, and as they take in the world around them, they grow into these little wild things. If only we could bottle their energy! Some of the words that I would use to describe Isaac, my little guy who is now 3.5-years-old, are: energetic, busy, loud, impulsive, argumentative, hilarious, mischievous, crude, empathetic, strong, rough, smart, out-going, fearless, aggressive, sensitive, feisty, and as many have said to me..."He is ALL boy!"

That's my son. He likes to make little girls scream, is a lover of bugs, enjoys sword fighting, daydreams about taking down dragons, turns simple toys into guns and other weapons, enjoys running and playing outside, picks his nose, doesn't mind being dirty or sweaty or both, enjoys peeing in the grass, and has been known to find humor in farting on people. Yes...that's my son. And I love him more than words can say.

And yet this male species can be so confusing to me! I have pleaded with him to sit quietly, to be careful, to stop running, to just be still. But as time goes on, I am beginning to realize that I am basically asking him to be other than how he was designed. I am asking him to behave like a sweet, quiet, little girl. I ask him to play with kindness and to try being "the good guy" every now and then (as he is obsessed with wanting to be the "bad guy"). And I am dumbfounded. Where DID he learn these behaviors? He has been quite sheltered from TV, movies, and all media. And I certainly have never taught him how to play like this.

Which leads me to believe that maybe this warrior nature...this fearless fighter within our sons is a natural-born, God-given trait? I see boys everywhere play fighting, wrestling, pretending to be heros, or picking up sticks and using them as pretend weapons. They are full of energy and constantly looking for ways to get it out.

So as their mothers, how can we foster this foreign and slightly disturbing nature that come as part of the package of having a son? I want to be intentional about not stifling it...or telling him that how he IS is wrong. I don't want to feminize him or control him. But rather, I want him to be adventurous and wild and have the freedom to grow and develop into a responsible young man one day. So how do we harness this energy and aggression for good?

I have some friends who have enrolled their children in Tae-Kwon-Do. This seems like a most wonderful option, as it is not only an outlet for their energy, but they are also learning important character development skills at the same time. It is, however, quite expensive. And unfortunately, not an option for us at the time. We do belong to a local YMCA, which offers co-ed tumbling classes. We have enrolled Isaac for classes this coming summer session, and are excited to see how it works!

I know that just being outdoors...whether running around, riding bikes, or searching for bugs...is a great way for Isaac to get out lots of his energy. He just needs to be moving...all..of..the..time. I've also wondered if there are any foods that we feed him that bring out some of the more crazy amounts of energy that he has, and I'm still researching that one.

Obviously, I have made huge generalizations about boys here. I do recognize that everyone is different, and every child unique. Not all boys are super active, wild monkeys. I have met a few throughout my years in education and child care who are quite the opposite...quiet, timid, preferring to be indoors, reading books rather than fighting. And that's totally okay! This post is more directed at those mommies out there who are dealing with crazy, wild, high-energy boys! I need some IDEAS! What DO I do with him? And I need some answers quick, before I pull my hair out! Haha!

Anyone?

**I am adding that a friend just suggested that I read a book, which is totally on my must-read list. It's "Bringing up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson. Here's a quote from the very first chapter that really resonates with my post: 

"...one of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason. It begins very early. If a toddler can climb on it, he will jump off it. He careens out of control toward tables, tubs, pools, steps, tress, and streets. He will eat anything but food and loves to play in the toilet. He makes "guns" out of cucumbers or toothbrushes and likes digging around in drawers, pill bottles, and Mom's purse. And just hope he doesn't get his grubby little hands on a tube of lipstick! A boy harasses grumpy dogs and picks up kitties by their ears. His mom has to watch him every minute to keep him from killing himself. He loves to throw rocks, play with fire, and shatter glass. He also gets great pleasure out of irritating his brothers and sisters, his mother, his teachers, and other children..."

It goes on to describe boys as they get older and even more dangerous! :) I think this is going to be a GREAT read! :)