Two steps forward...and...

"I hate you!"

"I want you to die!"

"I wish you weren't here."

"You're stupid!"

"I'm gonna ask God to kill you!"

Just a few of the statements that have spewed out of the mouth of my son over the past few days. Lovely, eh? We are trying out a new style of parenting. One that is obviously bringing about some MAJOR testing from Isaac. It involves LOTS of choices, freedom, and shared control. And the biggest difference for us is that we try not to react to anything he says or does in anger. We dole out some empathy, coupled with quick one-liners like, "I know," or "Probably so," or "Nice try." We remain completely calm and allow the natural consequences to settle in.

After a morning filled with having the above statements YELLED at me, Isaac asked me to play with him. I sighed, looked very sad, and said, "Hmmm. I do love playing with you. But you've been really rude to me today, and so I really don't feel like playing with you. Sorry." And that, naturally, was met with even more anger from him. He asked for a snack and I told him that he could have one as soon as his mess in the playroom was all cleaned up. He yelled, "NO! I'm angry AT YOU!" I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU!" I responded with, "How sad." Then he walked up and followed through on his threat.

Now I have been around kids through most of my life. But I have to say, this was a first. I have NEVER in all my years been punched by a child. It really took me by surprise. And it hurt. I'm talking he REALLY punched me. I quickly got up from my seat, picked him up, and carried him up to his bedroom. I set him on his bed, then closed and locked the door. Before I shut the door, I said, "I didn't like that one bit." But I don't think he heard me, because he was crying by that point. I think he knew that he had made a mistake.

Later in the day, he continue spewing out angry words all over the place. So I let him know that he would be spending the rest of the day in his room. He would be missing out on cookie baking with his sister and all the other fun stuff we'd be doing. He kept saying, "But I PROMISE to be kind now. I won't do it again, Mommy...I PROMISE. I'm sorry." I'd empathize, "I know, buddy. It's really sad when you treat people badly. Because then no one wants to be around you. And that's why you will be spending the rest of the day up here by yourself." To which he'd shout, "NO! I don't like you! Go AWAY!"

Tough love. He's gotta learn. This is just NOT acceptable. He is trying EVERYTHING in his bag of tricks to provoke me (and Kevin and Naomi and anyone else he can) to anger. He LOVES pushing buttons. And all of the sudden, when his antics are not working, he's taking it up a notch. He's testing...big time. And I'm not caving in. I will NOT respond in anger. I will NOT let the little stinker ruin my day. And I just hope that he gets the message loud and clear sooner than later. :)